A Date Which Shall Live in Infamy

Happy Jeop-iversary to me.

November 1, 2004 -- known to most of nerd nation as the glorious day when the Sudoku puzzle made its major U. S. daily newspaper debut in the New York World -- was memorable in the life of your humble correspondent for another reason.

That was the night my Jeopardy show aired.

Note the singular.

I occupied the middle podium, armed with quick-draw reflexes, an obligingly cute cat story (Note to future contestants: Do NOT incur the wrath of the Jeopardy spirits by telling a pet story from the middle podium), and all the preparation I could muster. Between getting The Call in June and tape day on August 17, I had watched over 100 episodes, read the transcripts of 200 more, memorized the list of frequently referenced works of art and literature from the NAQT website, and generally crammed my brain with whatever else I could find to stuff in there. To my left (left, right?, uh, left. Yeah, left.) stood Lisa Ellis, a lovely young school teacher and recent Williams graduate who then worked at the Hathaway-Brown School in Shaker Heights, Ohio.

To my right . . . well, let's just say he'd been there a while.

As for the game, I actually don't remember much. The gory details are available on J! Archive. They tell me I got 10 right, 1 wrong: the miss coming on a Classical Music clue that opened the door for Ken to claim a Daily Double (Arutro Toscannini, best known as a lyric in Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire").

I also almost missed a Bible question, but fearing a rupture in the space-time continuum, the judges eventually ruled in my favor.

The other memorable clue from that game was near the end, when Ken had about 3 times my score and got a clue on "Bridge to Terebithia." The night Ken lost to Nancy Zerg there was a batch of clips from Ken's games (presumably provided by Sony) that aired on Nightline, David Letterman, A&E Biography, and the TV Guide Channel. Ken is seen firing off answer after answer, while his slack-jawed opponents stand helplessly behind their measly 3- and 4-digit scores. About three clues from the end, you hear "What is Terebithia?"

The slack jaw with the beard would be me.

Word to the wise -- don't use the word "Terebithia" in my presence. I might vomit on your shoes, and then I'll be in no condition to explain myself. If you're studying for the SHC, don't look for it any time soon.

If you remember that Final Jeopardy, you are probably not surprised to learn that "left" and "right" are still an issue for me three years later. I'm the goofball who drew the arrow the wrong way. For the record, I still wear my watch extra-tight on my left wrist when I referee soccer games so I'll remember.

Confession time: I haven't read Brainiac. I picked it up long enough to find out I'm not in it, then put it down and walked away.

Because that's exactly the kind of bitter, egotistical, curmudgeonly old windbag that I am.

P. S.: To Lisa -- If the editors ever have the sense to list you in the Social Register, I'll buy that.